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BOOKS: CONFRONTING FAMILY VIOLENCE

From Villain to Hero small

DAVID ADAMS reads Michael Clark’s ‘From Villian To Hero’…

Michael Clark
From Villain to Hero: Encouragement and a Map to Stop Domestic Violence or Abuse that Hurts the Ones You Love
Ananias Publishing, West Des Moines, US, 2019
ISBN-13: 978-1079994292

From Villain To Hero

 

“This book, as Clark himself notes, is really a tale two ‘very different’ lives – the first, when life was a ‘constant battle’ and he was controlled by his emotions, and the second, in which he has self-control and his relationships ‘grow deeper and more satisfying every day’ – and how and what it was that led the change from one to the other. It’s aim is to help others do the same.”

There’s no doubt that family violence, also known as domestic violence, remains a major problem in countries right around the world despite a growing chorus of voices calling for more action to tackle it, not only in responding to specific instances but in preventing them from happening.

Michael Clark’s book, written for the US context but certainly of interest to anyone, anywhere, concerned about the issue, is a confronting read. Part memoir and part guide to addressing the issue, Clark draws on his own experience as a perpetrator of violence against his then wife Michelle, detailing his subsequent arrests and mandatory attendance at a ‘Batterers’ Intervention Program’ as well as the damage it caused to his relationships before turning to how he was able to change his behaviour and, as the title suggests, transform his life.

It’s written specifically to those perpetrators who have realised something needs to change in their life and are looking for some help in how to go about it as well as to those who are victims of such violence and all those who encounter the issue in their day-to-day work: pastors, law enforcement, and social workers among them.

The first seven chapters – about three quarters of the book – tell of Clark’s own journey, his struggles with rage and the process through which he was able to identify its causes and become someone who was no longer controlled by his emotions. It’s only in chapter eight that he turns to the pivotal role Jesus Christ played in his transformation. But, as he explains, that’s a deliberate tactic.

“Because I suspect that many reading this book share my previous resistance to all things religious, I intentionally wrote the first seven chapters to only include a secular viewpoint,” he writes at the start of chapter eight. “I don’t want you to dismiss the techniques I learned and write this off as just another head-in-the-clouds faith book. I know that anyone who desires to change their behaviour can benefit from understanding themselves, and using the methods I’ve shared so far, regardless of their religious views or their degree of spirituality.”

That said, Clark doesn’t underplay the role faith played in his own transformation.

“[M]y relationship with God helped me answer some of the core questions I had about myself that my counselor had helped me identify: Am I loveable? Do I have a purpose? Can I be forgiven for the things I’ve done wrong and the hurts I have inflicted on others? Is there hope in the darkness I’m facing?” he writes. “God answers these vital questions like no other source can, because he created us. This changes everything in wonderful and very meaningful ways. As my relationship with God has deepened, I have noticed a number of profound differences in my outlook, my relationships with others, and my actions.”

The book also talks about the organisation which Clark went on to establish – the Ananias Foundation – which aims to work to end family violence by providing guidance and encouragement to people who have been violent or abusive to their partners but who want to change (profits from the book go toward the foundation’s work).

Each of the first seven chapters – there are 10 in total – comes with a section at the end outlining what Clark’s experiences taught him, another sharing some thoughts for others going through a similar journey and, finally, some “guideposts” – discussion points about the issues covered in the chapter (the guideposts can also be found at the end of the eighth chapter as well). There’s also a list of further resources at the back of the book.

This book, as Clark himself notes, is really a tale two “very different” lives – the first, when life was a “constant battle” and he was controlled by his emotions, and the second, in which he has self-control and his relationships “grow deeper and more satisfying every day” – and how and what it was that led the change from one to the other. It’s aim is to help others do the same.

 

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