SAMANTHA ELLEY speaks with Australian children’s ministry pastor Ainsley Freeman about her new book, ‘Impress’…
Sydney, Australia
Ainsley Freeman has always been passionate about teaching Jesus to young people. Being a children’s ministry pastor, Ainsley knows the importance of teaching children about faith at a young age. As the mother of Levi, 11, August, eight, and Rufus, five, it became an imperative.
In her book Impress Ainsley grounds this importance from Deuteronomy 6, where we are to ‘impress’ the commandments of God onto the hearts of our children. Even in, and especially during the busyness of our lives. Her book and weekly communications are an inspiration in making this happen.
Ainsley Freeman. PICTURE: Supplied.
“With the spirit of God, they have the most important job to do in their life. I wanted to equip parents like me. Millennial parents talking to computer-literate kids.”
What was the motivation behind writing this book?
“I work for an organisation [Olive Tree Media] where we are equipping people to share Jesus and, as a parent of three young kids, I felt motivated and saw the need for parents to share the message with their kids. Parents are the evangelists and missionaries of the next generation. This is a really important role and I want to encourage them that they have what it takes. With the spirit of God, they have the most important job to do in their life. I wanted to equip parents like me. Millennial parents talking to computer-literate kids.”
What did you find the most challenging while writing this book?
“I am a speaker, so I am used to writing then speaking the words. This was a new experience writing words that people will only read. I had to overcome my own fear of not wanting to be an expert in this space. I didn’t want to be seen as the parenting expert, but I need to be faithful with what God has put in front of me. Not being an expert but coming alongside parents like me in this era and time. There is a uniqueness being in the season of life that this is.
“I am not writing something in hindsight with rose-coloured glasses. I don’t want to forget what if feels like to parent kids today. I am in my 30s, working, paying off a mortgage, I have three boys who don’t love to sit still. I wanted to put pieces in the book that were doable and practical, not perfect.
“I have led churches as well and I know what its like to passionately pass on the gospel to kids. So I was motivated for one hour on a Sunday. Now, being at home with the kids you have more time and opportunity. People at church on a Sunday are a wonderful supplement but the primary people who should be praying with and talking to the kids are the parents and carers.”
You mention in the book the importance of the dinner table for the family. Can you paint a picture of what the Freeman dinner table looks like?
“There’s always arguments around vegetables on the plate. Always someone getting up and down from the table. It took us a few years to provide a meal for all five of us and all sitting at the table. It’s now what everyone expects to happen. Our kids are excited to sit at the table, they set the table and know there is no TV and no phones. We always ask a question such as,’What did you learn today?’ About six months ago my youngest asked, ‘What was your day today?’ He was only four-years-old. The boys understand we say grace and my youngest was confused as whether he was giving an acknowledgment of country, or saying grace! This meal time is a pattern of there being a rhythm and a routine. We sit at the table, we share deeply and we sustain the time as long as we can.”
IN SHORT – AINSLEY FREEMAN
Your favourite Bible verse?…”Philippians 4:6-7 and, of course, Deuteronomy 6.”
A place that is special?…”We live on the Northern Beaches of Sydney and there is a spot just near our home. It is a headland that overlooks Narrabeen and Collaroy beach and I go to meditate on the vastness of God.”
A person who has inspired you?…”My husband, Jamie. I dedicated the book to him. He is the most impressive person I know. The way that he models and speaks of a living faith is pretty incredible.”
What’s one mistake you overcame when sharing your faith with your kids?
“I have grown in my capacity to allow them to ask really tough questions and to respond as honestly as I can. Early on, I wanted to have the right answer and give it correctly. As an example, they asked, ‘Where is God right now?’ How do I theologically explain He is everywhere and not get overly complicated, telling it like I had to give the right answer? Instead now, I respond from my own experience, such as when I was young, I didn’t understand. Another example, when they wake up the next morning and they had asked you to pray they wouldn’t have a bad dream and they did. How do I acknowledge why prayers aren’t answered? I am learning to deal with their capacity to doubt and ask questions.”
How have your children reacted to the techniques you’ve written about?
“The things that I have done are in the book. Younger children are my context and these are the things we have done. They are the types of prayers we have prayed. My husband prays the same prayer. We have Bible verses in frames in our home. The practices we do around the dinner table or conversation starters. I’ve observed in my boys as they have grown through these practices and they now lean in to them. Even when there is a bit of tension starting a new practice or a tradition. One of those is we light a candle at the end of the week as a symbol of going into a transition of a different moment. Initially, this was a bit interesting and now they get it and they initiate it. They ask, ‘Can I light the candle?’
“We still struggle in the memory verse space, finding ways to help my kids memorise Scripture. I haven’t fully found a great way to help them memorise Scripture yet. So far, we have avoided bribing with lollies and pocket money.”
What have you seen as the biggest distraction for parents when sharing their faith?
“What isn’t a distraction? The idea of parents thinking [that] teaching their faith can be outsourced. Families are very busy and overwhelmed. There are priorities and so much information coming at us in social media and echo chambers. There is constantly something in our ears; we are constantly bombarded with noise and information. I’ve observed that teaching their faith is not on every family’s agenda at all. The encouragement is to take your kids to church, and the churches are saying ‘Come here’. But parents need to be reminded they have been entrusted with these children. We can share in everyday ordinary moments and that is how we talk, live and breathe our faith. Our faith should in our home.”
You talk about 90 per cent of the in-person time with your children is when they are young. What advice would you give to the parents who are at 10 per cent?
“It will be interesting to see whether this changes it at all. Parents of older children and grandparenting [are] back in the land of impressing. My husband and I wrote a children’s book of people with remarkable lives of faith. We’d read of grandparents praying with their grandchildren. The way we can witness our faith in the 10 per cent years can be significant and they are getting more hours with their grandchildren.”
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What other areas/times do you see as important aside from the dinner table?
“Bedtime. This is really where the most complicated questions come out or sharing a massive thing that happened that day. It’s really special as it’s a time to pray, talk about big things of life and read the Bible with them. Mornings or leaving the house, how we exit for the day is another significant opportunity. I don’t think it’s practical for every family to have the same day off together but there is also the Sabbath where we delight in rest. It is a transition with our kids to close off some of our productivity and lean into God’s rest. The rhythm is a beautiful opportunity.”
Knowing what you know now, after writing the book, what is the biggest piece of advice you would give new parents?
“Elevate your prayer life to the point where it is visible and absolutely essential to every part of who you are. Prayer has two things. It moves the heart of God and is powerful. It is a witness and says something to those in our life and we are dependent on God, his priority and his love of us. Parents who pray are transforming their own heart and also witnessing to their kids. It is intimate and how we seek God. Making prayer is the most essential part of a life of faith.”
How can people get their hands on a copy?
“The book is available in Koorong [in Australia] as well as on our website olivetreemedia.com.au/impress. There are links to Instagram and Impress Daily which is a 52 week devotional. An email a week to help parents with this role.”
